cavycas replied to your post “oh dear. [[MOR]People are already being wanky and the season hasn’t…”
Want to hold my hand and be optimistic with me? :)
let’s hold hands and dance!
It’s fascinating how much of our sense of attractiveness and feminine identity is bound up in our hair.
Misha & Jensen - JibCon 2014 (x)
Ten years is long time in anybody’s book. Ten years since the angels fell. Ten years since everything just..stopped. All the evil, all the dark spots on this planet just vanished. Of course, the world still isn’t perfect – there’s still war, natural disaster, poverty. The Raiders keep losing and they stopped making fucking Twilight movies, so there might still be a God out there somewhere. Every so often, a spirit gets anchored and needs to be set free, but besides that, everything is just…quiet. Ten years. Ten years since Dean Winchester just stopped caring.
It wasn’t easy at first. The anxiety of waiting out the calm before the inevitable storm was suffocating. So when the calm just kind of…went on forever, it was easier to breathe, to focus on something other than impending death and destiny and all that shit that’s been ruling their lives since the beginning. It was just over. By no means was it easy to accept. Dean spent years with that itch he just couldn’t scratch - in the back of his head, nagging at him to go, to run, to hunt, to feel. Dean spent years sleeping with a knife under his pillow and never took the weapons out of the trunk of the Impala. He still whispers Christo when people are acting weird, but eventually, you have to accept that people are just fucking weird.
At some point along the way, Dean, Sam, and Cas just stopped hunting. Sammy decided to finish his degree and get a job, so they packed and closed up the Bunker. Thinking back, it was pretty dumb to let the fallen angel (human, whatever) pick where they went from there, but at the time, he still just wasn’t ready to trust himself - trust this new world - so letting other people make the decisions was easier..better. Cas picked fucking Lawrence, of course, the sentimental bastard.
So they went, bought a house on the outskirts of the Lawrence city limits, and settled in. Sammy started school in Kansas City, and Cas went with him. Art school, if you can believe it. Dean found himself a job at the old auto shop his dad used to work at to pass the time while his boys were away, and every day, they sat down together for a family dinner. Dean didn’t know happiness before this. Ten years ago, everything changed…he changed.
It’s been three years since…Well, that’s still too hard to think about sometimes, especially on nights like tonight. Tonight he’s lying in the grass of Sammy’s backyard - having just snuck away from his own birthday party - hands cradling his head as he gazes up at the stars. The loneliness ebbs away in this spot. This was where he and Sam tossed a football for the first time since they were kids after Sammy bought the place with his hard earned cash – bought it for him and his new fiancée. This was where Sammy and Avery got married and had their first dance together. This was where Hunter took his first steps. This was where he and Cas would lay, late at night, whispering to one another and watching out for shooting stars. This was where Cas taught Dean everything he knew about stars and constellations. He said that the stars could tell any story about any man on this Earth, you just have to start writing. So he and Cas wrote their own legacy between the constellations – every wish, every hope, every dream, every reality, every ounce of love between them laid bare across the starscape. A man can learn a lot about stars, about love, about humanity in three short months – and Dean will never forget a second of it.
It’s then that Dean hears the soft crunch of tiny feet on grass approaching him, breaking him away from his thoughts. He closes his eyes and smiles softly. “Hi, Uncle Dean.”
Dean chuckles gently, his eyes still closed. “Heya, Hunter.” He feels the grass and the air next to him displace and cracks one eye open to see Hunter arranging himself in the grass, the perfect mimic to his posture. He watches Hunter study the sky, probably trying to figure out what is so interesting up there that Dean hasn’t come inside to tuck him in yet.
“Whatcha been lookin’ at?” he asks, still staring up at the star-filled sky. Dean takes a deep breath and opens both eyes, swallowing up the stars once again. How do you explain to a kid the meaning of…well, everything?
“You remember I told you about Uncle Cas?” he asks quietly, not taking his eyes off of the constellation centered above him – Canis Major, Cas had called it.
“You said he was special. He had Grace,” Hunter replies in that ‘matter-of-fact’ way that only six year olds can manage. Dean can only smile at that.
“Yeah, he uh…he was special,” he says quietly. Dean shifts his body and points right above their heads. He’s never shared this, because it was for him and Cas, but if he has to share this anyone, it may as well be his nephew – the second love of his life with the innocent, inquisitive nature that rivals the first. “You see that star right there, the brightest one in the sky?”
“Yeah!” Kid’s already excited like he’s learning the hidden mysteries of world and the secret ingredient to Dean’s burgers. He probably should be telling the kid some science-y shit about how stars are created or naming off the constellations, but where is the magic in that? Dean is laying out here because of his imagination – because if he lays out here and gets lost in the stars long enough, the loneliness goes away. If he lets himself go enough, he can still feel Cas here, next to him.
“Well, uh…people who have Grace, when they have to leave us, it’s because the stars said it was time to come home.”
“You said Uncle Cas went to Heaven,” Hunter says, turning to face Dean.
“He did, Hunter. But that star right there,” he points again and waits until Hunter focuses on that tiny spot in the sky again - Sirius, Cas had said, with a deep chuckle when Dean mocked the name. “That’s your Uncle Cas. That’s his Grace. His Grace is the brightest star in the sky and it’s always gonna shine and it’s always gonna be there for you, okay?” Dean stops short, the words catching under the lump in his throat.
“Good. I’m glad he’s there for you too, Uncle Dean.”
They’re such simple words. Simple words from a six year old boy. But Dean feels himself smiling, his heart expanding and aching and breaking all at the same time.
As a silent tear slips from his eye, Dean reaches one hand out to hold Hunter’s, the last word Cas ever said to him on the tip of his tongue.
“Always, Hunter. Always.”
(8.14)And in that moment I realized,
After all those years of wandering,
you finally found a place to call home.
someone give me an au where dean works in a grocery store and cas is a disgruntled businessman who frequents the store during his lunch hour.
and poor dean, with his one pierced ear and his forearm tattoo, has an absolutely enormous crush on the dark haired man who comes to his register every day.
but the man never looks up. he always looks as if he is concentrating fiercely on something in the contents of his wallet, or on his phone… and dean desperately wishes he were on the receiving end of such focused concentration.
and one day dean decides to just nut up and greet the guy when he comes to the register. he curses the way his voice shakes slightly as he says “hello, how are you?”
"good thank you, and yourself?"
dean’s heart sinks to somewhere below his knees, but also manages to start beating faster as the sex-rough tone of the man’s voice reached his ears. it’s an automatic response, a cordial one… but ultimately impersonal. and the dude still hasn’t looked up from his wallet.
dean’s pretty sure it’s a combination of all of the above that makes him say what he says next.
"just tryin’ to make it through the day."
dean knows he’s not supposed to complain about his problems to customers and he regrets the words the instant they come out of his mouth…
that is… until he realizes that the man’s eyes are on his own, wide and shockingly blue as he stares at dean in some kind of wonderment.
dean’s about to apologize when the man’s expression goes soft and a small smile appears on his face as he murmurs a soft “me too”
dean’s so taken aback by the man’s response… the electric gaze still locked with his own… that he’s definitely not responsible for the next set of words that comes tumbling out of his mouth.
"I’m told good company can change that feeling…" dean trails off with a flush, busying himself with the register as if he hadn’t said anything.
the pause that follows is long enough that dean never wants to turn back around.
but then comes an amused reply of “indeed.”
dean spins back to face the dark haired man.
the guy’s gaze is even more intent now, a hint of a smile on his full lips.
"do you have any suggestions?"
dean can’t even believe his luck. because that was most definitely innuendo and he’s gonna snatch this guy up faster than he can say,
"how ‘bout me?"
the man smiles and hands dean an old receipt from his wallet, a number and a name scribbled on the back.
dean’s pretty sure today is the best day of his life.